What is Transformers: Age of Extinction about?
Nothing. It's about nothing.
But it's three hours long. How can it be about nothing?
Because Michael Bay has somehow perfected his technique of turning a major summer action movie blockbuster into a high school graduation. It's three long hours of things happening that you don't care about. Oh, sure, eventually the person you're there to see will be called to the stage (likely this student's name is Grimlock) and you'll be excited to see him get his moment of recognition, and then the rest of these goddamn kids you don't know or care about have to get their diploma too. Even though Transformers 4 has less of certain problems that have plagued the live-action franchise, watching it is an obligation, a joyless, interminable slog where all you do is wait for Grimlock to get his diploma, metaphorically speaking, and go home and have a beer.
8-bit Arcade in Renton
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