Day 174 - Hypothetically, I Would Be OK With This

March 28, 2011

It is possible to fail every portfolio entry for National Boards and still pass overall. But you have to do really well at the assessment center.  That makes me feel better because the assessment center is just math.  

I can do the math.  But this is overselling it.  

While we're on the subject, I love this scene too

Day 173 - The Silver Lining of Constantly Working

March 27, 2011

This is my foursquare history lately.

This is the only good thing about it.

Day 172 - Why Do Babies Get The Cool Toys?

March 26, 2011

Thankfully, I was invited to dinner tonight.  I probably would not have given myself a break until after the blue box was turned in.  Babies are cute, their toys are a blast, and the associated adults were enjoyable too.

Day 171 - It's Not All For Me. I Swear.

March 25, 2011

As an incentive for good behavior, I bought my kids candy.  I have many kids.  I required much good behavior.  I also showed a movie today because it's important to provide real world applications of mathematics.

National Boards has made me the worst teacher ever.

Day 170 - "PC Load Letter? What The F#@$ Does That Mean?"

March 24, 2011

While burning National Board DVD's, I received this message.
98% < 100%
 Not fun times.  

Day 169 - "We Can't Have Anybody Freaking Out!!!"

March 23, 2011

It happens to the best teams.  We finally lost one.  We learned some things about ourselves, and over time, this will help us come together as a team.  We just need to keep our composure.  Some folks were very preoccupied with an upcoming flashmob (above).  I blame that for dividing our attention.  If we refocus, we can come back twice as strong.

OTL Regular Season Record 7-1

Day 168 - Boards are due WHEN?!?!

March 22, 2011

My colleagues and I realized we needed to hit National Boards hard.  That's why we fueled up like we were pulling an all-nighter back in college.  Pizza, Caffeine (or in my case hydration, because I want to Be Like Mike), and a show about Community College.  

Troy and Abed are easily the best part of this show.

Day 167 - "It's A Game About Cleaning Up. Why Is That Fun?"

March 21, 2011

Here's what I know about myself: When I get stressed, games help me.  They soothe me.  

Maybe it's because the outcome of a game doesn't matter.  

Maybe it helps me to feel a sense of control.  

Maybe it's because my brain can't distinguish between real accomplishment (finishing boards) and fake accomplishment (rolling up a monster truck).

For these reasons, Katamari Forever calms me.

 The story is ludicrous.  Here's Katamari Damacy  (the first game in this series) from Wikipedia:

"The game's plot concerns a diminutive prince on a mission to rebuild the stars, constellations and Moon which were accidentally destroyed by his father, the King of All Cosmos (WHILE HE WAS DRUNK). This is achieved by rolling a magical, highly adhesive ball called a katamari around various locations, collecting increasingly larger objects, ranging from thumbtacks to people to mountains, until the ball has grown great enough to become a star. Katamari Damacy's story, characters, and settings are bizarre and heavily stylized, rarely attempting any resemblance of realism."

(Parentheses mine)

That might help this part make more sense:

It's like a massage for my mind grapes.  

Thanks, Japan.

Day 166 - Chris Rix Did Not Prepare Me For This

March 20, 2011

Chris Rix was the QB of the Seminoles while I attended FSU.  He was a nice guy, but he always seemed to do something to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.  I thank him because he helped put sports in perspective.  I need to remember I have no control over anything happening.  I approach Florida State Athletics with a Zen like calm.

Then they do something like this.  

I honestly don't know how to react.  This is crazy and amazing.  It's cramazing.

We beat the poop out of Notre Dame.  We looked AWESOME!!  We could totally win the whole tournament this year.   Just writing about it made my blood pressure jump.  I have to keep this under control.  I need to remind myself to keep things in persepective.  "Chris Rix.  Chris Rix.  Chris Rix..."  That's better.

Sad but true:  I've never cheered for a team that won it all.  

Day 165 - Can You Outrun National Boards?

March 19, 2011

We finally had good weather and I was cooped up inside all day working on boards.  National Boards are completely ruining my interest in things that are awesome like March Madness and the Sounders.

Trying to take my mind off it, I tried to run Bridle Trails.  But every time I saw a mudpit like this, I thought about how sticky the evidence rules are for Entry 4. Or while trying to navigate the right path, I thought about how I have to remember to include the answer key for BOTH activities in Entry 1.

F#@%ing Boards.  I dislike you.

Day 164 - Try to Stop Exaggerating

March 18, 2011

You probably saw this already, but I just heard about it today.

People are calling this the worst song ever.  Really?  If everyone hates it, then why is it so popular?  I don't understand people who put that much energy into tearing things down.  Is it the best song ever?  Not even close.  But no one is forcing you to watch it.  I've heard it enough now that I kind of like it.  I don't mean that ironically.  I think it's kind of catchy.  It makes me laugh, which brings me joy.
Thanks, RB.

I also liked the part where someone tweeted Rebecca Black saying: "Forget Beiber Fever, I have Black Plague!!"  

In an effort to do something more worthwhile today, I finally finished this book:  

"Nothing To Envy" by Barbara Demick.  

It's an oral history of North Korea told by defectors who escaped.  Several times as I was reading, I thought it was a book about the dark ages.  While there's no electricity, the country is ravaged by a  devastating famine.  Doctors spend two months gathering their own herbs, teachers must play the accordion while their children starve to death, and people have to poop in a bucket for fertilizer. 

It all happened within the last 20 years.  

AND IT'S STILL HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

The book makes it very clear that the North Korean people aren't the problem.  If you were raised in that situation, you might do some of the same things.

Consider that before complaining about your busted March Madness bracket.

 Count your blessings that basketball can be something you care about.  

Go Noles!

Day 163 - SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!

March 17, 2011

They told me those were mashed potatoes.  I was not brave enough to try them.  Everything in the salad bar was green too.  The way people celebrate St. Patrick's Day is so ridiculous.

1)  No I don't go out on St. Patrick's Day.  I did that once in college.  It was the most overhyped, crowded, ridiculous experience ever.  TBTL made a great point about this, the overcrowding is due to people who wouldn't normally go out giving themselves an excuse to "party".  

 Call St. Patrick's Day what it is:  Amateur Night

2)  A kid tried to pinch a teacher because she wasn't wearing green.  Bad idea.

  Thanks for ending that tradition, sexual harassment lawsuits.

Day 162 - That Picture is the Ref from the Dodgeball Movie

March 16, 2011

It's a peer refereed league.  If you don't have a big enough team, you can't be mad when we ref every game.

Pretty clean week though.  Our record speaks for itself.  Lots of pressure going into the tournament.  

We eat pressure for breakfast.

7-0 (Say WHAT!?!?)

Day 161 - Sounders First Kick 2011

March 15, 2011

None of these pictures show the monsoon roaring throughout the entire match.  

I was able to take one good picture before the deluge. 

 Seattle Dog.  

Delicious

Day 160 - That's a New Editing Mark

March 14, 2011

While editing National Boards entries, I received many useful notes.  And also this:  

Nice aim with that salsa, Susan.

Day 159 - Battle LA(me) and Wishful Bracketology

March 13, 2011


I worked on boards all day today except for two breaks.
  Now I'm going to spoil Battle: LA for your own good.  You weren't going to see it for the story anyway.
  It was a mix of Independence Day and District 9.  And it will make you sick.  Every shot is close up to someones face and shaky.  It's like Cloverfield on steroids.  Make sure to take a whole bottle of Dramamine before going to the theater.  
  And here's a good safety tip.  If you are invading a planet for resources (water) that are abundant and not at all in dispute, make sure you leave your crucial weak point COMPLETELY UNDEFENDED.  Aliens are bad at warfare.

My other break was for the selection special.  Here's my bracket:

  Boston U in the Elite Eight?  Washington and Florida State in the Final?  

Don't judge me.  If you think I'm crazy, make your own bracket.  Don't cost nothin'.

Day 158 - Mandarin Gate

March 12, 2011

Mandarin Gate karaoke is AMAZING!!  Big stage, short wait, great soundsystem and people sang everything: Tupac (Westside!), Phil Collins, Kelly Clarkson, and Billy Joel.  Actually, that was my playlist.  Other people did Chicago (the musical, not Peter Cetera) and Lynard Skynard.

Karaoke means "Empty Orchestra".  Isn't that hauntingly beautiful?
And it's a rule:  Every time I karaoke, there has to be a picture of me with my eyes closed.  Success!!

Day 157 - Seussical

March 11, 2011

Super cute show.  Kids were great.  Songs were catchy.  

Day 156 - Museum of Flight Redux

March 10, 2011

There were two kinds of kids on this trip.

A) Kids who were so focused on filling out our packet that they missed all the cool stuff.  Like this Arecibo Message that shows how SETI is trying to talk to aliens.

B)  Kids who were NOT focused on filling out the packet and they missed all the cool stuff.  They were too busy trying to make themselves throw up by riding the simulator 10 times in a row.

How do I know that the packet didn't help students meet the learning goals?  This kid admitted to copying his answer from a friend.  

Sigh.

Day 155 - Crybabies

March 9, 2011

In class we completed a lesson about finding the best arrangement, and a student asked me "When would we ever use this?".  Fast forward to tonights dodgeball match.  The first few games get split before we realize our tactical error.  We have all the aggressive, offensive minded players together in one group and all the cerebral, defensive minded players together in a separate group.  We needed to find a better arrangement of our talents.  Once we made the appropriate line change and mixed up the teams.  This game was over.  When we work together, we're unstoppable.  If felt just like this:

Also, this team had a crybaby.  You look like an idiot when you pout about dodgeball.  It wouldn't be cool if a six year old acted that way.  You're 30.   When you get hit, you're out.  End of story.  Also, it's not a strut or a saunter if you take 45 minutes to move off the court.  It's a walk of shame and you're only making it take longer.  If you want to wallow in humiliation and the stench of your own failure, do it on your own time, but get off my court.

OTL 6-0


"If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail."

Day 154 - The Courage

March 8, 2011

Noah Gundersen and The Courage

These guys crushed it at Neumo's tonight.

Sadly, it was their last show together.

Day 153 - "I Never Fly Commercial. I Don't Want To Be Incepted."

March 7, 2011

There's no logical reason why I should like free t-shirts so much.  I have plenty of shirts already.  And to buy a new shirt at Target costs five dollars.  But for some reason, the idea of getting the Mayorship at Flying Saucer Pizza has taken hold in my brain.  It's like a virus.

Cobb: What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient... highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks; right in there somewhere. 

Oh no!  I've been Incepted!!

Day 152 - Hellboy

March 6, 2011

Hobbes has been receiving saline injections due to his kidney issues.  I guess we missed with the last one.  He's not in any pain and doesn't even seem to notice.   My brother immediately dubbed him Hellboy due to his comically large arm.  He's almost the right color too.

Can't Think Anymore. Need Pizza T-shirts and Bowling.

Day 151 - March 5, 2011

Since they wrote all these papers, you'd think the goal would be more clear.  I'm still not sure what National Boards wants.  Also, while trying to write, this song got stuck in my head.  I listened to it on repeat 50 times, like that would help me or something.

I've become a huge Black Raven fan.  I don't know how or when it started.  I love supporting local and Mac and Jack's, while good, is an already established brand.  These guys are the young upstarts.  

They're the plucky "Under-birds" (Yes, Nailed it.)

Whoa!! Mind Explosion!!!  The Mayor has only been to Flying Saucer Pizza 8 times.  I could crush that in a week.  As long as the current Mayor doesn't know I'm gunning for her, I should have this locked down in no time.  I really hope the Mayor doesn't read this blog.

I WANT THAT T-SHIRT!!!

Everyone always judges when I show up to bowl with my own shoes.  They always assume I'm going to be like this.  Yes I had the highest score on the lane, but it was only 113.  We've all bowled better than that.  The shoes definitely write checks that my bowling arm can't cash.

Owning my shoes comes down to one simple idea.  I know where they've been.

You're Talking Out Loud. You Know That, Right?

Day 150 - March 4, 2011

After being 30 minutes late, our bus driver admitted she didn't know where she was going.  She proceeded to drop the following gems throughout our ride.

"Your lives are in my hands.  When you stand up, I get so angry because your lives are in my hands"

"I know that’s right"

"We are doing this thang."

"Where the man go?"

"Deliver me from evil"

I'm sure you had to be there for any of that to be funny.  

Foursquare For Real

Day 148 - March 3, 2011

My Actual Boy Scout
Merit Badge Sash

This idea led to the following exchange:

Me: Foursquare badges are fake.  I want to make them real.
Justin:  Is this an idea for a business?
Me:  It could be.  But mostly not.  I just want them for me.
Justin:  How would you make the badges?
Me:  Magnets... or paper .... or something.
Justin:  Magnets?  Would they go on the fridge?
Me:  No, I want to carry them around with me.
Justin:  So, buttons or something?
Me:  Yeah, buttons.  Or I could make them out of cloth and sew them on a sash.
Justin:  Could you even do that?
Me:  I could learn.
Justin:  Would you wear the sash out in public?
Me:  No.  I would feel silly doing that.
Justin:  So you want to make a sash of badges that you'd only wear around the house?
Me:  Yes, I guess that's what I'm saying.

I already have more Foursquare Badges than Boy Scout Merit Badges.

We're going to need a bigger sash.

Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge

Day 147 - March 2, 2011

We played a team with one really intense player who ripped off his uniform in the middle of the game and became "Black Tanktop* Guy".  What I learned from him:

- You should have various hobbies and activities in your life.  BTG only has Dodgeball.  That must be why he's so intense about it.

- There's no gracious way to taunt the other team.  You look especially dumb if you "Wooo" like Ric Flair constantly. So you probably should just avoid that.

- If you taunt the other team and argue about the rules, you'd better not lose.

- Calling a whole team timeout in the middle of the game to pump up your team Ray Lewis style would be awesome if you weren't such a dick about it.

- If you're BTG and you taunt the other team, argue about the rules and lose the game, then during the high fives, avoid eye contact with us.

We beat you fair and square and we did it without being jerkfaces.

Your humiliation is now complete.

OTL 5-0

"It's not that hard to make good choices."


* He was actually called "Black Wifebeater Guy" but I don't like saying that.

Volunteering is Exhausting

Day 146 - March 1, 2011

There's always something happening at school.  I volunteered to help with Varsity practice for half an hour.  Then I volunteered to help with Honor Society by waiting for a pizza delivery and hiding the breadsticks.  We also had a Justin Beiber sing-along.  That's why I've been listening to Baby on repeat.  For the kids.

Honor Society kids are pretty great and in their natural environment, they remind me why kids are fun.

Bro? You Were Serious? We're Watching ALL Of Them?

Day 145 - February 28, 2011


Without Vin Diesel, these movies really struggle.

Just like the first movie, as a joke 2 Fast 2 Furious is kind of fun.  The racing is ok, but in the middle of the movie they try and build this whole trust/betrayal subplot FOR AN HOUR!  Remind me to bring a coloring book to keep me entertained.  On the plus side, anytime Paul Walker (Brian O'Connor) tries to talk street, he sounds ridiculous.

Brian O'Connor: They got deep pockets? 
Tej: Real deep. 
Brian O'Connor: What's up, Suki? 
Suki: What's up, Bullet? 
Brian O'Connor: What do you say we kick it a nickel? 
Orange Julius: No one said nothing about raising the stakes! 
Brian O'Connor: If that's the case, why don't you ask these nice people here to back off the line so you can go home? 

WALKERED!!!

Fun Fact:  Ja Rule was in negotiations for the film, but turned it down to pursue other film projects. 


Remember him?  He was HUGE.  Now he haunts my dreams shouting "It's Murdah!!" and the immortal "Baby Girl, PUT IT ON ME!!!"  And I still don't get what it means to be "Always on Time".  


Ludacris > Ja Rule.   QED.

SPOILER: This is only one out of the four Fast And The Furious movies to have no major character deaths. 

Uh Oh.

Everything EXCEPT National Boards

Day 144 - February 27, 2011

I have nice weekend routine that works.  I see a movie before noon in Woodinville because it's empty, and the movies are six bucks.  I go frequently and the movies are cheap, so I talk myself into seeing things in theaters that I normally might avoid. Unknown seemed like a good idea at the time.  The trailer looked good, and while I was watching it, I was having a good time.  I walked out of the movie satisfied with my choice.

Then as I was leaving the theater, someone turned to their friend and said "wasn't that The Bourne Identity?".  It was like pulling at the loose string on a sweater.  The whole movie started to unravel.  A torrent of "Why didn't he just...?" and "Shouldn't he have...?" started to rush into my brain.  Pretty soon, I wasn't even sure I liked it anymore.  This graphic hit the nail on the head.

I was surprised by the Oscars.  Not really anything about them, but more the media backlash. I watched with my family and we had a good enough time.  We weren't expecting anything wildly entertaining.  We just wanted something quiet to do together on a Sunday night.  I couldn't understand why everyone hated it so much.  Could any of you host the Oscars?  No?  Then shut up about it.  This article did sum up a fun take on the night.

At my parents house, I was introduced to this. It's Hobbes' saline bag.  He's having kidney problems, has lost a lot of weight, and his appetite. I know it's been 16 years and something like this was bound to happen.  But it still makes me sad. 

It makes me think about Dammit (our other cat) and how he was getting insulin injections twice a day for his last few months and how horrible he must have felt.  I don't want anything like that to happen to Hobbes but I'm not excited about the alternative either. 

Frowny Face.

Oh, I had planned to use today to work on National Boards.
I almost did.

Victory Through Air Power!

Day 143 - February 26, 2011

We're taking all the eighth graders on a field trip to the Museum of Flight in a few weeks.  They will be completing a packet to make sure that they see all the great sights at the museum.  This packet has an LA/SS section and a science section, but NO MATH SECTION!?!?!  This egregious error must be rectified!!

So that's what I spent today doing.  Touring the museum to find the answers to the packet and integrating math into the whole tour.  Since it was just me, I was able to listen to a ton of new music (Tallest Man on Earth is AWESOME!!) and the experience turned out to be pretty relaxing.  In two weeks, hundreds of kids will descend on this place and it will be a complete madhouse.