May 12, 2013
Deadspin
It is done. I ran a half-marathon, front-to-back, without having to stop to walk. I did have to stop to shit, though. Here's a Spotify playlist that helped me through it.
"Degausser," Brand New
Usually, I can power through an impending poop. Whether I'm driving or in an unfamiliar place—like, not my own bathroom—I can just hold on to the poop and wait it out. Somewhere around mile eight, however, it became urgently clear that this poop would not be waited out. This poop was coming whether I jumped in the woods, managed to find an empty porta-potty or found one of the stores we were running past was actually open and I could shit like a civilized human being with toilet paper and a door with an actual doorknob.
"Catamaran," Bear vs. Shark
It was a prominently situated Dunkin' Donuts. It sat alone, amid the strip malls, on Jericho Turnpike, half of which was shut down for the race. It was no surprise, then, that many of the roadside establishments—7-11, gas stations, etc—were closed. I learned that the hard way when I finally gave in to the inevitability of this poop and found the 7-11 closed. Have you ever resigned yourself to a poop and then not been able to poop because of outside influences? It is a terrible feeling. Your whole world is rushing toward this one moment and then all of a sudden you have to jam on the brakes after you've made the decision to take this road. It's why excessive nudity scares me. Clothes are the last line your body has between not shitting and shitting. I feel like if your brain knows you are wearing pants, it will try its damnedest not to shit them. No pants? There is nothing to stop what your body is doing; you've made the decision to strip away the final layer of protection.
I couldn't make this happen in a video game if I tried.
Today's Photos:
Notes and cards from kids.
And some Christmas-themed Starbucks cards are mixed in too.
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